FAQs about mental health problems and being a Christian

As a Christian, my struggles with mental health have always been raising some questions. Some were asked. And i really appreciate it when people do that. Ask me questions. i don’t always have an answer, but i do appreciate genuine questions from people. Some of the questions were not put into words, but i have seen them in the way people stared at me, or tried to avoid me. Sometimes there was no room for questions let alone answers. There were times were judgment was omnipresent and to be honest, those times left me struggling with some questions. Not the famous “why me?”. Not the often expected doubts about God. But they left me wondering: What do i do wrong?

As i was listening to the song “A Way To See In The Dark” by Jason Gray, i felt like i had an answer to some of the Frequently Asked (some unspoken) Questions i got because of me being a Christian with mental health problems. And i thought maybe it was time to try put it into words. i still don’t have all the answers, but i can try explain how i feel about it. How i feel the Lord spoke to me and maybe sharing my thoughts will get you thinking too. This blog post (every single one of my blog posts actually) is not about me trying to tell you how it is. It is more of an invite for you to explore your thoughts about this topic.

As a Christian living in the dark woods of mental health problems, i had the privilege to meet all kinds of people with all kinds of beliefs and all kinds of backgrounds and all kinds of ways of living. Living here in these dark woods sure isn’t something i would recommend to anyone, but it also proved to be an opportunity to meet people i probably would not have met if i were not to live here, like this. Being a Christian with mental health problems raised questions from Christians and people who do not believe in Christ. Because the nature of the questions were somewhat different i distinguish between those two ‘categories’. It is not because i want to divide people into the category ‘good’ or ‘bad’. i have no intention judging people. Thank God it is His job and not mine, for i would be a terrible judge!

Non-Christians would ask me questions like “How can you believe in a God when there’s so many evil in this world?” or “How can you believe God is LOVE when even Christians like you are struggling big time?” or “i don’t mean to offend you, but i don’t see how being a Christian is making a difference for you. You see, you still are struggling, even though you believe in Him. What kind of God would do that? Allow His children to suffer?”. And so on.

Those questions from non-Christians could be labeled as questions about Who God is and what He is capable of. How far His mighty hands can reach.  

Also Christians have been asking these kind of questions. Often times worded a bit different, but in essence i guess they didn’t differ much. The question “Why does God allow people to suffer?” is a very frequently asked question.

There also were Christians who would not really ask questions about God’s doing, but mostly jumped to the conclusion i was doing something wrong and therefore struggled with those mental health problems. Those people did raise questions about my faith. Was i a good-enough believer? What did i do to make things right? Many of these Christians jumped to their conclusions without really having a conversation with me. It hurt and it sometimes still hurts. As Christians we are only human and we all do have our human weak spots. i don’t think i am angry with the people who asked those kind of questions, most of them remained unspoken. But i do grieve about it, for i think it is a loss to the Christian community when we are judgmental to one another. It burns bridges and weakens our community instead of the church being a safe place where people can be real and honest and genuine. And where God’s Love and Truth dwells in us all.

Those questions also did confuse me. Left me wondering what i was doing wrong. Made me feel like i failed being a Christian. But it also helped me turn to the Lord and ask Him what He thought of all this. Even though these (unspoken) questions made me somewhat isolated from other Christians, i think i can say it brought me closer to the Lord.

Another frequently raised question was why it all had to go on for this long. There were always so many people praying for me and thinking about me. It still overwhelms me all the love and prayers and support people are showing to me. And it hurts me to see peoples faces get confused when they get to know i am still struggling. After all these years of struggling, but more so of praying and believing and hoping and praying some more, i still live in these dark woods of my mental health problems. And it hurts me to see the question marks and the raised - yet often times unspoken –questions “Why don’t my prayers get answered?” or “Haven’t i prayed enough?”..

Listening to this song by Jason Gray there was this one phrase that was like an answer to all these questions (and many more)..

If I am saved, You tell me it will not be by sight

The Lord knew some of us have to live in the darkness for some time. He knew we would not be able to always see Him, experience Him in a way that is visible and comprehensible. And He decided to not let sight be what would bring us to Him.

Yes, here in the dark woods there is lots of darkness, everywhere. Yet the darkness does not determine whether or not i am lavished in love, gifted with grace, showered with mercy and overflowing with hope.

No the darkness does not determine anything.

The darkness i have lived in for many years has not been of any hinder to God. It has not ever served as a mechanism to scare Him away.

For that is the amazing thing about our Heavenly Father.

He does not get surprised and He does not grow weary and He does not get frightened.

He is omniscient. Even before the moment i entered the dark woods He knew exactly how long i’d stay there and how and when i would get out eventually.

With the words of Jason Gray:

Once again a childlike faith is my only way to see in the dark

No, i don’t have all the answers. i have no idea what tomorrow may hold. But i do know Who holds tomorrow. Also when i will spend many more ‘tomorrows’ here in the dark woods i learned to know all too well. He will always know it better than i do and He will be my help, my hope and my vision. He will lead me one step at a time. And i pray that you will find Him to be leading you as well. No matter what comes, He wants to hold you, safely.

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